Catalyst Fitness

Mental Toughness: Shelby MacDonald

It will be a year in June since my second surgery on my knee, my first being in January of the same year.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about that devastating occurrence in my life.  One that has truly changed my life – not necessarily for the better……but then again they do say that “things happen for a reason.”  While the whole events surrounding the injury have not been easy, they have certainly placed a positive spin on things for me.  I am indeed a better person for enduring what I have been through. Questions cross my mind such as will I be at the same level I was prior to the injury?  Will I be able to complete without worrying about hurting myself again?  Will I have limitations? Will I have the confidence to rise above this?  So many questions and so much doubt have entered my head. 

 

 

Unlike other sports, gymnastics is not an easy sport to transition into following an ACL injury.  The pounding and abuse the body takes is like no other.  The mind is a powerful tool, and I have learned to utilize it to help me get through this ordeal.  I realize the importance of rehab, conditioning and practicing daily to achieve desired outcomes.  First and foremost, it is paramount to cut off the doubt fast and refocus on the positives that will help me perform.  When in doubt, I know my confidence is affected, so telling myself that I can and will nail it and visualizing myself doing all these things really helps to put things in perspective.  I try to create in my mind what skills I want to do and then work to bring them into physical existence. 

 

Proper conditioning is a vital and driving force in my recovery, and I enjoy varying degrees of conditioning so I am always eager to approach Chris Cooper for innovative and helpful tips.  Strength is also key and helps to raise my confidence while motivating me to work through the sometimes unavoidable physical pain.   

 

Prior to a competition, I like to set positive goals for each event to help me focus on what I want to achieve instead of worrying about what could go wrong.   I totally involve myself in achieving those goals by staying focused and committed to the game. I find it helpful to putaside the idea that others are watching or evaluating my performance.  Regardless of how often I compete, there is always that element of fear.  However, I like to imagine that fear is a normal reaction and that every one experiences it to some degree. To alleviate my fear, I like to envision something comical like my mom trying to do a balancing act on the beam. (It is definitely a lot harder than it looks.  Gymnasts make it look easy). 

 

While everyone deserves a second chance, not everyone is as fortunate as I have been to get one.  While overcoming obstacles, I have had tremendous support from family, teachers, coaches, therapists and mentors.  It is indeed a privilege to have had these wonderful people in my life, particularly Chris Cooper (personal trainer @ Catalyst) and Lisa Proctor (gym coach) whose guidance has been immeasurable.

 

I look forward to training through the summer and next year at Twistars Gym in Lansing,Michigan, where it is my hope to take my gymnastics to another level.  My personal mission statement is to obtain a gymnastics scholarship and to continue to participate in the sport for as long as I am able to.- Shelby MacDonald

Meeting Sarah Grand

Last week, I met Sarah Grand.  Sarah just started Crossfit.

2 weeks ago, she did the Scotiabank Toronto Marathon.  

Sarah's a vegan.

She had knee issues for the whole month leading up to the marathon.

She didn't eat at all that day; her last meal was 7pm the night before.

Oh, and she was on chemo the whole time.

Below is her story.  

Last October after having moved to Ottawa, I decided to sign up for one of the Running Room's running clinics.  I didn’t know very many people in Ottawa, and so I figured it would be a good way to meet people with similar interests.  I started off with a 10km clinic and by January I was ready to try my hand at the half-marathon group.

I was a bit nervous, and wasn't quite sure how it would be training through the freezing cold winters in Ottawa.  I had only done one 10km race, and the whole half marathon seemed to be a bit of a daunting task, but I was ready to give it a shot. 

By March I had met several good friends in the clinic and started to look forward to our long Sunday runs even though most mornings it was freezing! 

As the race approached, I battled with a few minor injuries, but kept on with the training.  Getting out for the runs made me feel great inside and out!

On April 30th, just four weeks before the Ottawa ING Half Marathon (my goal race), I went out for some speed training on the track with my group.  I had a horrible headache that particular night, and by the time we started the speed drills I felt myself getting a bit disoriented from the pain.  Midway through the drills I got separated from my group and ended up running alone.  By the end of the session my head hurt so much I thought I might pass out.  I managed to get myself back to my car and immediately drove home.  Once at home I started to panic a bit, and so I decided to call my boyfriend.  As we were on the phone, suddenly he heard a loud THUMP and then nothing.  Thankfully he had a key to my place and so he rushed over immediately and found me unconscious on my living room floor.

I was rushed to the hospital and given a cat scan.  When the doctor came in I could tell from the look on her face that the news wasn't good.  "Are your parents here dear?" she asked.  I shook my head to indicate no.  Well I have some bad news, and I need someone here with you before I can tell you she said.  She called my boyfriend in instead and then delivered the news.  It hit me hard and fast, but I was strangely calm.  I had been diagnosed with a brain tumour and was going to need emergency surgery.

 How could this happen I thought?  I'm only 23, I'm so healthy, and I have my whole life ahead of me. 

I met with the surgeon the next morning, and by that time my parents had arrived in town.  I was going to need brain surgery and I was going to need it soon.  The location of the tumour made it difficult to remove, so after some thought, the surgeon decided it was best if he did the surgery awake. 

AWAKE???  Are you insane???  This is the stuff of horror movies.  I begged and pleaded with him.   But doctor, I have a race in 3 weeks and I’ve been training all winter for this!  Do you think I’ll still be able to do it???  No he said, you won’t be running for several months if not longer.  Clearly this race didn’t mean as much to him as it did to me.

Six day later, on May 7^th, 2008 I was rolled into the operating room.  My surgery took close to 11 hours, and as planned, I was awake for the whole thing.  I was able to talk, and move my hands and legs somewhat, but my head was bolted to the table to prevent it from moving. 

Surprisingly, I had a pretty fun time in the OR.  I had met some great nurses on the neurosurgery floor of the hospital and a few of them came down to visit me during surgery.  We talked and laughed, listened to Mariah Carey on my iPod stereo and even took pictures!  About 6 hours into the surgery I asked the anesthesiologist if I could call my Dad.  He was stunned by the question, but excited at the same time.  He went and got a phone and sure enough I called my Dad from the OR to give him an update on the surgery. 

Closer to the end of the surgery some of the freezing started to wear off and the pain came rushing in like a tidal wave.  The anesthesiologist rushed to give me some drugs through my IV, but since I had been awake for the surgery, I didn’t have any breathing tubes in.  This posed a bit of a problem, and so for the last part of the surgery the anesthesiologist sat in front of me and acted as my breathing coach to make sure that I wouldn’t stop breathing. 

The first few days after the surgery were pretty brutal.  It felt as though someone had beaten me over the head with a sledgehammer.  I was taking morphine every couple hours and I tried desperately to get comfortable enough to sleep without the right side of my head touching the pillow.  My Mom tried to get me to eat a bit, but I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to get a spoon in from all the swelling.  Not only that, but the surgery had also affected my visual pathway and so I kept seeing strange flashing lights out of the corner of my right eye.  I was told this was normal, but I couldn’t help but find it extremely distracting.

After a few days I started to feel better, and by the weekend I was allowed to go home.  The doctors said that I should try and walk a little if possible and so the day after I got home my parents and I headed out for a walk.  With each step I felt stronger.  “I can do this” I thought.  I will walk everyday and on the 24^th I will run the race.

Unfortunately my training plans came to an immediate halt when my surgeon advised me that there was to be NO RUNNING!  My brain would take quite some time to heal and running could cause some potentially serious problems with all the swelling.  I was devastated.  This race meant the world to me, and I wanted nothing more than to complete it.

A few days later the pathology report was in and once again we headed back to the surgeon’s office.  The news was bad….very bad.  I had a stage 4 cancerous tumour (the most aggressive type of tumour) and the chances of regrowth were high.  I was going to need to start rounds of chemotherapy and radiation immediately.

It’s as though the news kept getting worse!  First, no race and now cancer. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle. 

I spent the afternoon feeling sorry for myself, but by the next morning my mood had changed.  They don’t know me, I thought.  They don’t know what I’m capable of.  I don’t care what they think!  I’m going to do this race and I’m going to beat this cancer!

Fourteen days after the surgery I started chemo and radiation.  The chemo wasn’t so bad, but the first radiation treatment was terrible and I wasn’t sure how I would hold up.  The radiation technician told me to expect to suffer from severe fatigue during the treatment, and that most patients take two to three naps per day during the treatment and for several months afterwards. 

You won’t have the energy to go for a walk, let alone run she told me.  I could tell by the look on her face that she felt sorry for me, and figured I was too naïve to know what I was up against.  Even the strongest and healthiest people get knocked down from these treatments she lectured,  but my motto was and still is “it’s not how many times you fall down in life that matters….it’s how many times you get back up.”  And that’s exactly what I was going to do.  Life might have temporarily knocked me down, but damnit, I was going to keep getting back up.  It was going to take a hell of a lot more than a brain tumour to take me down! 

So on the morning of the race, just 17 days after my surgery and already on chemo and radiation I laced up my running shoes and I showed up at the start line.  I didn’t care what they said, if I couldn’t run it, I would walk it!  And walk it I did.  I walked all 21km’s as fast as my two little legs could carry me.  When I hit 20km I took off my ball cap and exposed my semi bald head and then I ran like never before to that finish line.  I ran for all the people who told me that I couldn’t do it, for all the people who said I would be too tired, too weak, too sick.  I crossed that finish line with more emotion than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.  I had done it, I had really done it.  With a time of 2:43:58, I had come in first place in my age category for walkers.

A few days after the race, with a renewed sense of hope, I decided to undertake the mother of all races.  I was going to train for the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in September.  

I was going to do it through the heat of the summer, through the chemo and radiation and through the emotional ups and downs of my hormone therapy.  I had to do it.  I had to prove it to everyone that it could be done, and more importantly than that, I had to prove it to myself.  If I could do this, I could do anything.

To me cancer seemed more like a mental battle than a physical one.  The doctors were quick to tell me all the horrible things that might happen, but if you listen it’s just a self fulfilling prophecy in my opinion.  I guess that’s why I relate to running so well, because it’s sort of the same thing.  Sure, running a marathon is a physical test of endurance, but more than that it’s a mental hurdle.  When you get tired and you’re hurting and you want to give up, you need to be strong enough mentally to push through and keep going.  And that’s what I did, each and everyday of the summer with my mother by my side. 

There were some days where I was exhausted, and others where I felt sick to my stomach.  The chemo caused a lot of stomach upset for the runs, and by a few weeks in, I could no longer eat before going running.  Any attempt at food often lead to a panicked frenzy as we tried to find the closest bathroom.  Instead I started taking along an electrolyte drink similar to Gatorade, and that seemed to help.

Although my Mom had three marathons under her belt, it had been almost a decade since she had last run and I could tell she was overwhelmed.  The distance was too far too soon, and her poor little legs weren’t used to the training.  It was obvious that her whole body ached and as much as I loved her for coming out and doing it with me, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her when I saw her try to walk down the stairs after our long runs.

She was a great sport though, and the best teammate I could have ever asked for.  It didn’t matter how much she was hurting, when it was time to run, she strapped on her shoes and out we went.  We had more fun together running, sweating, complaining and limping than we’d ever had before.

By August I was feeling strong and ready to undertake this huge challenge that lay just six short weeks away.  Then out of nowhere came the knee pain.  It started as a dull ache, but after a week or two, it lead to a throbbing pain on the outside of my knee.  I went to physiotherapy and it turned out that I had illiotibial friction syndrome.  This is NOT what I needed! 

I went religiously for my treatments, and started doing a lot more stretching.  I had taken to using a heating pad, and also starting going for ART (active release technique) therapy.  By September I felt a lot better, but my left knee would still give me problems on the longer runs.

Once again determined to do the race, I pushed through.  I iced, I heated, I stretched, I rested, I did everything and anything.  I was too close to give up now.  I was going to do that race and if I had to crawl across the finish line then so be it, as long as I finished.

There had been a time when doing it fast meant everything to me, but after what I had endured over the summer, none of that mattered anymore.  I didn’t care if I was faster than my teammates or if I could qualify for Boston, all I cared about was finishing.  In the end, you’re only competing against yourself right?  And the fact that I was even attempting it on radiation and chemo was more than most can say.

The day finally arrived.  The morning started off cool, but the forecast called for a warm sunny afternoon.  My Mom and I and 15,000 other runners gathered at the start line.  At 7:30am the gun fired and we were off!

For the first 20km I felt great!  My Mom and I were keeping a fast even pace and thankfully my knee wasn’t hurting.  By 25km the sun started to really beat down on us and I cursed myself for not wearing a tank top!  Once we hit 30km the fatigue set in.  I hadn’t eaten before the race and the electrolytes just weren’t giving me enough calories or energy to keep going.  We passed a few gel stations, but not having trained with them, I didn’t want to try them out for the first time on race day.

Once we hit 35km I thought for sure I would have to stop.  I might still be able to finish, but it would have to be walking because there was no way I could keep running.  I was exhausted and over heating and each step took every ounce of my energy. My butt was cramping and my feet were screaming out with pain.

Then we hit the cheering station and hundreds of people who saw the huge scar on my head began cheering out for me!  Go Sarah! Go Sarah!  You can do it!  You’re awesome!!!!  Don’t give up!  It almost brought tears to my eyes, and it certainly did bring tears to my Mothers eyes.  She looked at me and said, “You can do this Sarah, you’re almost there, don’t give up baby.”  And so I closed my eyes and I ran.  I thought of all the doctors and all the nurses who told me that I couldn’t do it, all the people who said my cancer would kill me.  I was going to do it, I had to do it, for me, for them, for anyone who’s ever undergone cancer and knows what it’s like to lie awake at night filled with fear and anxiety about what the future holds.  So I kept on and before long I could see the big signs 700m to go, 500m to go, 200m to go, 100m to go!  I could see it now, I could see the finish!  The fans were cheering, I was going to do it, WE were going to do it.  I grabbed my Mom’s hand and we ran as fast as we could until we crossed that finish line. 

I cannot even begin to explain the euphoria that overtook us as we crossed.  We reached for each other and we hugged, and we cried, and we laughed and we cried and we hugged some more.  We had done it.  We had run 42.2km side by side.  I couldn’t help it, so I looked at my watch, but the time didn’t really matter.  It had taken us 4:44:32, and I couldn’t have been happier.

September 28^th, 2008 is a day I will never forget.  I learned a lot of important lessons over the summer, but more than anything I learned that impossible is nothing.  It doesn’t matter what the challenge is, whether it’s completing a marathon, asking someone out on a date, or beating cancer, if you want it bad enough, you can do it. 

So remember. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over….she became a butterfly.

-Sarah Grand

Mental Training for Marathons

Marathon running places a variety of psychological and physiological demands on the body. So how can you prepare for such demands? How can you ensure that despite the inevitable challenges you will still reach optimal performance and attain the goals that you have set out for yourself?

Whether you are training for a 10k or a 26 mile marathon, the distance is in large part, a mental game. The mental practice throughout your training regimen will give you that competitive edge that you are looking for and help you to cope with the stresses that come along with long distance running.

The feeling of uncertainty Mike spoke of during his Half Iron Distance Duathlon is quite common among athletes in a competitive environment. This feeling really has a lot to do with self-confidence, trust and focus.  It is important to try to avoid focusing on things that you cannot control at the time of the race. By worrying about whether or not your body will survive the demands of the race you are putting negative energy and focus into what you don’t want. You do not want to lose energy stores so that you can feel anxious. Instead trust in your training, work on developing your confidence, and bring back your positive mindset by focusing on what you want to happen throughout the race.

Develop Confidence through Preparation

Build your plan long in advance. If you believe that you have done everything you can do to perform your best, you will have confidence in your ability to perform well. This includes; physical, technical, tactical, and mental parts of marathon running. If you expect to run a 4 hour marathon, you had better get out there and experience it first hand in order to fully grasp the psychological and physiological stress involved in a 4 hour run. Follow a meal plan that suits your individual profile and meets the energy demands of your sport. Be prepared for various challenges and scenarios that you might face in a race. Learn the course in detail, train in bad weather, experience a variety of races, and use visualization to help you imagine different scenarios and your positive reaction to them.

Gaining Confidence from Adversity

It's one thing for you as an athlete to be confident when you are performing well and things are going your way. It is an entirely different challenge for you to maintain your belief in yourself when you are faced with adversity. To more deeply ingrain confidence, expose yourself to as much adversity as possible and learn to respond positively. Adversity involves anything that takes you out of your comfort zone (ie. bad weather, poor competitive conditions such as an annoying official, a variety of running surfaces, inclines, and obstacles)

Maintaining Confidence through Self-Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk

Analyze videotapes of previous races or use visualization to review races and point out strengths and weaknesses. Figure out where you can improve and how you’re going to do it but do not focus solely on the weaknesses. Keeping track of your successes is an excellent way to increase self confidence. Use self-affirmations and positive self talk to keep self-confidence at an all time high. Self-affirmation is a process of directing self-talk to affirm your positive abilities and skills as an athlete. Repeated use of self-affirmations creates certainty in the subconscious mind making self confidence and self assurance a natural process. It is important to make affirmation lists in order to reinforce your belief in yourself. Here are some examples adapted from Shambrook (1996) for you to follow:

General Sport-related affirmations

I am confident in my ability
I have the skills needed to perform well
I feel mentally strong

Personal Sport Achievement Affirmations

In the Ottawa Duathlon, June 14th , 2008; I ran my best time of ….
I performed brilliantly in unfavourable weather conditions
I came back strong after a slow start in the half iron man even last month

Competition Specific Self-Affirmations

I will maintain a fighting spirit throughout this race
My preparation has been excellent
Stay energized during the last section of the race
The weather conditions will work in my favour
If a runner gets ahead early, stay calm and focused
Transform anxiety into positive energy and inspiration that I can use to stay strong

The competition specific self-affirmations can also be used as a form of positive self-talk throughout your race. One of the most important determinants of developing and maintaining confidence throughout the race is what you say to yourself. Key words related to emotions or technique can be extremely effective in staying positive and focused. For example if you find yourself losing energy and feeling worried that fatigue is setting in repeat a sequence of key words to make you feel more energized like, “Fast, strong, powerful ….fast, strong, powerful…”

Keep in mind that when using positive self talk you do not want to start your sentences with a negative connotation such as; “Don’t”, “Not”, or “No”, as the conscious and unconscious mind filters out negatives (Losier, 2006). Even though your intention is good your mind filters out the instruction thus communicating what you don’t want to your body. Start telling your body what you “Do” want. For example instead of saying “Don’t panic” say “Stay calm” and rather then saying “Don’t slow down” say “Keep up this pace”. With that being said you do not have to try to deny or ignore that there is some degree of concern in the mind -- this is too powerful to overcome in the short term. Rather, acknowledge that there is a real challenge in the situation but attempt to think about the challenge from a different angle. Always try to have a replacement thought ready which has been rehearsed previously. This will not be possible for all situations but the more mental training that is done prior to race time, the more likelihood there is that you will be equipped for an unexpected arrival of self-doubt and negative thinking. Practice “thought stopping”, this involves using a mental cue to lock out uninvited negative thoughts. Create an image of a big red traffic light as a reminder to stop the negative thinking and change it to a positive (Shambrook, 1996). Here are a few examples of devaluing your negatives and restructuring the sentence into a positive statement.

Changing Self-Statements

Change from Negative Self-Talk    Change to Positive Self-Talk
“I’m worried about facing my main competitor again”    “I am confident that I have trained hard enough to beat him this race”
“I’m worried that I didn’t eat enough”    “I planned out my meals well in advance and stuck to my plan.”
“My legs might be too weak to run near the end of the race”    “I ran this distance before and succeeded, I will do it again.”

Tips for Changing Self-Talk

Avoid using the word “Try”, I will try to…” as it give you permission to fail.

Avoid starting sentences with:

“I hope that…”
“I’m worried about…”
“I can’t”
“It is difficult for me…”

Instead start sentences with:

“I know that…”
“I’ll be okay if…”
“I can if/provided that I….”
“It is a challenge for me but I have confidence that I will…”

Distraction Control: How to conquer fatigue, boredom, and pain

Prepare for the “wall”

When you train for a marathon you are very aware of energy levels. Nonetheless, it is inevitable when running for 5 hours straight that you will hit that proverbial wall when you’ve just about exhausted your physical and mental energy. What separates the winners from the losers? It is all in your response to this event. Experience the fatigue factor in your training and practice a positive reaction to the event. Glycogen depletion is bound to happen when running for such long periods of time; thus it is important to not only experience the feeling of losing control but to train your body to cope (Mark Plaatjes cited in Ungerleider, 2008). Use your training and visualization to plan ahead and anticipate the outcome. A good plan is to fine tune your positive self talk while experiencing your fatigue mentally and physically throughout your training; what kind of negative self talk do you experience, how do you tend to react, what are the exact positive statements you say to yourself to get energized, what key words will you use? Racing is very strategic and a good marathon runner will conserve mental energy in the first half of the race in order to kick it in to high gear in the second half of the race. Pace yourself physically and mentally and you will find that you will have a sufficient amount of energy towards the end when you really need it.

If the pain is unbearable and you can’t seem talk yourself out of it, it may help to shift your focus. Shifting your focus can also be useful for beating boredom. Some runners will shift to an external focus; for example imagining the shower and nap they will get upon completion of the race. This can be quite affective; however, if you would like to stay more connected to your racing experience you may maintain more of an internal focus by using mantra, singing, listening to the rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement, visualizing the finish line. What is a mantra you ask? A mantra is the repetition of a specific sound that is significant to you, like the “m” sound. The repetition of this sound enables your mind to settle down and allows you to broaden your focus so that you can pay more attention to your surroundings and avoid going crazy over boredom and/or fatigue. Lastly, set small milestones so that you may feel a sense of accomplishment each time you reach a particular milestone. This strategy will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed by the total distance to the finish line and will help you to take the focus off of being bored.

I hope you will find these tips helpful. Remember, mental training is just as important as physical training. If you want to achieve your goals in running you have to put your mind to it!